He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
