I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Found the puke drawer
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
