why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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