If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
