This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I forget how to act sober
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
