That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
