therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
