I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
