i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
