I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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