Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
