took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
