his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
