Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
