when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
