ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
