How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How does one acquire holy water?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
