On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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