I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
