we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
