you would pick up someone in the library
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
