Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
