I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sext me about skeletons
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
