This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
