Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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