anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
