we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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