So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We left the knife in your bed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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