Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
