After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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