my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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