He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
whose parrot is this?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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