My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize
