Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize