ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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