No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
They have beer where we have blood.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
