I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
