I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
