I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
