I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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