did you get engaged???
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
