Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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