The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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