I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
pray to the hookup gods
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
