Nicole vs. Life
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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