Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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