Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
