I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
this will be a night to untag.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
ttyl tear gas
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
