dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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