oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
