Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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