Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
