One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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