Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
