cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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