in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
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We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.