So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better