Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub