No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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